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THE CARS IN MY LIFE PART 5

Eileen Cichello

To summarize this whole car business, my requirements in a car are modest:
1. When you turn the key in the ignition, the car is to start.
2. Only a certain percentage of rust is acceptable.
3. All doors must open...well, at least the driver's door must open.
4. The gas tank gauge must not read "empty."

My husband, Sam, has different standards.
1. We had one car that he started in the following manner:Lift hood. Remove air filter. Insert pencil in something or other. Squirt with engine starter. Get in car and turn ignition key. Get out of car, remove pencil, replace air filter, close hood, get back in car and drive merrily away. Aaargggg! Needless to say, he drove that one.
2. Rust: Been there. Done that. Remember the car that couldn't take seat belts?
3. Doors open: There was a time when we had a car that could only be entered from the back door. Usually the kids used that car. Then, for some reason or other, I had to use it for several weeks. I really lost my cool. I remember yelling (and then looking sheepishly around to see if anyone was in hearing range) "****** ###***|^*, I'm fifty years old and I shouldn't have to be doing this!" as I opened the back door, stepped inside, closed the door and clambered over into the driver's seat. You just don’t want people seeing you do things like that!

Sam pointed out very reasonably that I climb over the seat all the time when we're travelling. There’s some male thing at work here.... he’d rather drive than ride, regardless of the length of the trip. We’ve tried my driving him. He goes on full alert, radar antenna in full force. It’s just not worth the grief. Consequently, I spend a lot of time napping in the back seat on long trips, then hop over the seat when I'm napped out. I pointed out that this situation was different. On a trip, we'd be on a highway and nobody would know me. It’s another matter entirely doing it on Seneca Street or the Big M parking lot in Weedsport.

(To validate what I'm saying, I was talking to our son, Michael, home from college on a break, about this car and he got out his yearbook. There in the 1986 yearbook, for all to see, was listed Michael's ambition for the future: "To have a car that runs and has four doors that all open." Michael also reminded me of the time we had a car that wouldn't go in reverse. That one sure called for strategic planning!)

4. The gas gauge must not read empty:
Since I have to live with this man, maybe I better not go into that! Maybe sometime when I’m really ticked off at him, I'll tell you about the times he...

THE END!

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